You Look Like an Asshole: Casual Friday Fuck Ups 101

I am a big fan of casual Fridays. Give a professional gal one day a week for jeans and flats, please! I work hard. Let me look chic and RELAXED sometimes. I give you chic and pro-fessional every other day of the week.

I am not, however, a fan of other people's interpretation of casual Fridays. There's a gal in accounting whom I'll call Ethel. Ethel dresses in floral flour sacks during the week, but at least those flour sacks are appropriate for church. Loose fitting capris with a baggy tee and Tivas with socks are NOT OK FOR CHURCH. OR THE OFFICE. OR SITTING BY YOURSELF PETTING YOUR CAT. Your cat is embarrassed of you, trust me.

Then there's Casual Friday Sluts. You guys know the phrase, "there's no crying in baseball?" It was made popular after that Tom Hanks-Geena Davis gem, "A League of Their Own." If there's no crying in baseball, bitches, there is also NO CLEAVAGE AT WORK. A gal in my HR Department is the worst offender. She is a hard, cold, pretty unattractive bitch and yet wears spaghetti strap tanks that show tit and shoulder in the summer months. Please spare us, Jane! None of the sales guys are ready for that jelly.